I’ve been watching a lot of HGTV lately and one of the shows that I’ve really been into is House Hunters. If you’re not familiar with the show, it basically follows people (usually couples) while buying a home. Some of the stuff these people want is ridiculous (but that’s a whole other post) and often times the husband and wife have really different views on what they want. The wife tends to be a bit more boisterous about how she’ll get her way. And pretty much every time that happens, someone says “a happy life is a happy wife” as if that’s some sort of reason to give her want she wants.
So I guess you don't need to worry fellas -- you need not bring your opinion to the table in your marriage. Apparently it doesn't really matter since the wife calls the shots. Really. As long as your wife is getting whatever she wants, you'll both be happy. Never mind anything that you might want or need as long as things are good with the lil' lady. It doesn’t matter what’s best for the both of you or for your relationship. Just give right in and all will be well. And if it’s not, you better run because all hell is going to break loose.
I'm not sure about you, but I don't like what that says about women, men, or marriage and I don’t get why the use of the saying is considered cute and funny. I'm pretty sure it's just encouraging spoiled brat-ness (If that’s even a word. I’m sure it’s not, but it fits nicely there). And I just don’t see how that fits into a relationship.
Now, let me just say that I understand (and greatly value) making each other happy. I also understand that relationships involve compromise. I think both are important in a relationship. And it’s not just about being happy together, but all the little things you do that bring a smile to the other person’s face. Sometimes that stuff involves going out of your way and maybe putting your needs aside for a bit.
I get all of that, I really do. And that’s really kind of the point that I’m making – you both work to make each other happy. That saying doesn’t really speak of any of that to me.
Call me crazy, but I think relationships are about what you both want. They are 50/50. Sure, sometimes you’ll give in and let her have her way, but then she’ll give you your way on down the road. Sometimes you both meet in the middle. Sometimes it might work some other way. But nevertheless, every decision isn’t made by one person and you both work to do what’s best for both parties involve.
I actually Googled the saying for some insight. Apparently there is a line of t-shirts with the saying on it (seriously, some shirts are just dumb). On one of the t-shirts there is an image of a man down on the ground handing his credit card over to the woman (click here to see for yourself). Because all a woman needs is for her man to hand over his credit card and she's as happy as a pig in shit.
Seriously, in what world does that equal a happy life? I’m not even sure what that has to do with the saying. And in what world do women (or men) find that kind of thing funny? Seriously.
Call me crazy (again), but I think a relationship should be a partnership. That’s how Mr. T and I are. We decide things together and do things together. We have conversations about things. And no, it’s not perfect, but we both genuinely respect and care for each other.
So, yeah, I don’t understand that saying at all and frankly hearing it over and over again kind of annoys me.