My Very First I Really Miss NYC Moment

So the other day I had my very first I really miss NYC moment. Actually I had a huge I miss NYC day. And, honestly, I'm not really sure why. Maybe it's because I had to drive 45 minutes to get to the damn grocery store and no one can drive on I-65. In New York, I didn't have to drive anywhere.

Maybe it's because I spilled beer in the Meijer parking lot. Two beers to be exact. They rolled out of my cart and fell to the ground with a very loud smashing sound. They took my canola oil with them. Which means it then smelled like beer. Which means I smelled like beer after picking it up. And literally five people said something of the >OMG< variety to me. In New York, you can spill your beer without anyone noticing or talking to you. New Yorkers don't talk to strangers. Ever.

Maybe it was because my credit card was declined in the middle of the checkout line with three people standing behind me waiting. I'm not sure how this would be different in NYC, but it just didn’t help.


But I found myself feeling a little guilty about it. I think mostly because I wasn't really sure why I was missing New York and it kind of scared me. I mean, does missing that place mean something about my life here or something?

And then I did think for a bit about how crazy it was that I'm back here in Indiana. Living a life where my husband pretty much supports us (well, me) financially.

When I left Indiana for Chicago when I was 25, I thought I would never look back. I mean, I knew I'd come back for visits with family and such. But I never imagined living here again. I was sold on the city and really anywhere but Indiana. And when I moved to NYC that feeling was solidified.


I also never thought I'd depend on a man financially. I had a job. A great job. A job that I was going to make into my career.

And now, here I am, living in Indiana with (technically) no job. If you'd told 25-year-old Jess this she would have laughed in your face.  Because, you know, 25-year-old Jess had all her shit figured out (Please sense sarcasm there. Lots of it.)

But then I realized that I am happy. My life is different now. It's changed a lot. For the better. And I shouldn't feel weird about that just because that's not what 25-year-old Jess would have wanted. The truth is, 25-year-old-Jess can laugh all she wants. 25-year-old-Jess wasn't as happy as 35-year-old-Jess is. She didn't feel as content and at peace with who she is and where she is.

And, the truth (also) is that I will probably always miss NYC. It has a piece of my heart. It was always my dream and I was able to live it, if even for a short while. And I have so many amazing memories and experiences from living there. NYC is magical. There's no denying it. It's where I met my husband. And where I found myself. It was something that I needed to experience.

View NYC

But I am definitely in the right place. For me. For my husband. For our little family.

So, in the spirit of feeling grateful for where my life is and where it's going, here are some things to think about (along with all of my other reasons for leaving NYC) the next time I miss NYC:

Sure people are all up in your biz here, but you could probably get murdered in NYC and people would walk right by you as it's happening. In the Midwest people volunteer to go get someone to help you clean up your spilled beer.

I hate driving, but at least I don't have to take the subway for 45 minutes to go 3 freaking miles. And then carry everything home on the subway or take a cab. And lug everything up a flight of stairs.

Maybe there's not a bar on every corner, but I can actually afford to drink here.

We can have a pet, a real pet that we picked out and purchased. Not the rats, mice, or roaches. (And I love that little puppy so much!)

There might not be a lot of action, but I can wear any shoes I want when I go to plays and bball games on Mr. T's campus. I can also wear sandals all summer and not have to wash my feet (or be afraid I came in contact with some strange disease).

There might not be Broadway, but dinner and a show only costs $30 including pie!


Rensselaer, Indiana. Population 6,000 (give or take)

We're here you guys. In our new house. Finally. And I get to write my very first post from my new work space in our new house (will saying our new house ever get old?). So now we officially live in Rensselaer, Indiana. And I still don't know how to spell Rensselaer without looking it up. It actually took me months to learn how to say it. Rennsaleeeeeeer -- nothing link how it's spelled -- in case you're wondering.


It's been a long road as I'm sure you're aware. A road that left us in a dorm room for Christmas. But it was totally worth it.

We moved in exactly one week ago and I actually meant to write a post beforehand, but once we had the official date of possession my brain went into WE HAVE A HOUSE! mode and I couldn't really function. And then we didn't have internet and I was busy unpacking and settling and moving into a house is hard you guys. But I wanted to update you and show you all the things we've been doing. I have so many things planned for this place. I love this house. I feel like I find a new favorite thing every day.

So here's a little tour. And, as you'll see, it's all still very much a work in progress. (Sorry the pictures are of kind of crappy quality and so tall. I have to get the hang of this whole taking pictures of your house thing.)

Side note: I feel a little weird posting pictures of my chaotic, messy house. But this real life y'all. Moving is one big giant mess of chaos. And one of my goals for this blog (and my social media accounts) is to post more real life things. Not worry so much about creating the perfect shot. Show a little of the chaos (not just the collected) and be proud if it.

The living room

When you first walk in there is a little entry way with a closet (one of 994 closets). Then you're immediately in the living room. And just look at how cozy it is. The beams and gas fire place were a huge selling point for us in this house.

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The kitchen/dining room

I have wait my whole life for a kitchen like this. There is so much storage. What you can't see is a whole other set of cabinets on the wall that's not pictured. You also can't see the pull outs in all of the bottom cabinets. Seriously, you guys. The first thing I did was organize this baby and I was in heaven. The dining room area is pretty fab too. The little faux fireplace makes it so cozy and I love that it's part of the kitchen. The double doors lead out to a three seasons room (below) and the doors are actually from an old library.




The three seasons room

Look at it. Full of windows and all kinds of cozy peacefulness. Perfect for writing and hanging out. Our plan is to make it super cozy in here. Maybe set up a spot for games and puzzles. And eventually build a bar of some sort.


Laundry room

I've never had a whole room for laundry. What do you even do with it? Well, you put things in it and have room to clean your clothes and it's pretty amazing. There's also an attic up top.


The bathroom

It's small, but it's pretty awesome. There's plenty of wall space for cute things. And there's also a faux fireplace in there as well.

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We have three. Mama C has one (not pictured). Then one is ours which is severely lacking in the décor department at the moment. We have to wait for our mattress and box springs and our bed before we can do much. And then my craft room/office/shop which will need a week's worth of organization.

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Not pictured

The outside which is a super magical place fill with trees and plants and so many things that I can't even begin to capture through pictures. It's also a snowy winter day so it just doesn't do it justice at all. It's like Narnia out there. If I knew what Narnia actually looked like. I assume it's magical, right??

Three closets in the hallway. THREE. Coming from a Brooklyn gal who had NO closets, one would have been amazing. But three? I almost don't know what to do with them. In fact, one is almost empty at the moment.

All of the big changes will come at a later time, but in the meantime we're working to decorate and make this place feel like home. It's such a weird feeling, owning your first home. I still keep feeling like we live in someone else's place and worrying about all of the things I worried about as a renter. But I suppose that will pass in time.

I promise to keep you all updated as I DIY the heck out of this place and as we continue to get settled. We've done so many fun things already and I simply love this place. And we have some bigger projects too! It's in need of some painting. I want to paint all of the rooms gray so if you have any ideas, share them with me!

I plan on tagging everything I post with the hashtag #AChaoticandCollectedHome on Twitter and Instagram so feel free to follow along with everything.

Can you tell I'm excited about this place?!?