How Easily Social Media Can Ruin Your Entire Life

Photo credit: MinaLegend (flickr) One of the hardest parts about my "job" is being on social media ALL OF THE TIME. I'm constantly looking at Twitter or Facebook or Instagram. And as I'm helping Holl & Lane and trying to be better about engagement and growing my own following I feel like it's just going to get worse.

There's simply no way to engage without seeing posts from other people. It's impossible. And while I enjoy getting caught up and seeing all of the fun things going on in everyone's lives, I also find that it makes me crazy for two reasons:

  1. It makes me feel bad about myself. My life. My relationship. I feel inferior.
  2. It makes me obsessed with stalking certain people. Celebrities, people from my past, and so on.

It might sound dumb (I even feel dumb saying it) but I realize how easily social media can ruin your entire life.

So in an effort to not let it, I'm taking matters into my own hands and I'm going to work on making social media, as a whole, a far more positive experience.

Here's my plan:

Stop comparing my relationship with every damn thing I see on social media. My Instagram isn't filled with all of these cute little perfectly perfect instagrammable moments. There are some, but I know many people with far more. But that isn't because we don't have them. It’s because a) I don't want to Instagram them all and b) some of them can't be Instagrammed. Like when we’re in bed laughing at King of Queens because we are exactly like Doug and Carrie. Trust me, no one wants to see that.

Realize that sometimes I don't post as often as I should because I'm living in the moment. The honest truth, my friends, is that most of the really great moments in life (the kind that I would love to post about) happen so fast that I'm not able to capture them. And I think that's OK. No, I don't think that's ok, I know that's OK. Sometimes I'm just too busy living life and enjoying it.

Stop over analyzing feeds that I believe make mine inferior. One of the problems of social media is that you have access to everyone. But you only get to see what they choose to let you see. That's not necessarily the reality of their world. And maybe it is, but who cares? I don't know why someone has 994 likes on a picture of a damn door and I probably never will. Some people just do. I might never be overly famous for the things that I do and that's OK. I love doing what I do and I love the people it's brought into my life.

Focus my energy on more positive accounts. Instead of looking at people that have brought negativity into my life or some celebrity that I don't even like, I've started to follow accounts that make me feel happy. Some are just random quotes, some are people who have faced some really incredibly challenging things, some are people that just share love and positivity with the world. By focusing more on the positive and less on the negative, it helps me to do the same.

Limit my time. Just because my job demands my attention on social media, doesn't mean I need to be on it every second of every day. I'm trying to limit my time here and there and, instead, focus my free time on other things. Like reading in the three seasons room. I can't wait to do that, you guys.

Realize I'm human. I will probably still stalk people because I find it fun sometimes. And I will probably feel bad sometimes. So I shouldn't beat myself up about either. I just have to get better at realizing where the line is and not crossing it. I really want to get back to enjoying the fun parts of social media. All of the things that attracted me to it in the first place. There are so many things that I've done and am currently doing that would have never happened without social media.

What about you? Do you find you have similar feelings with social media? Any tips for how to deal with it?

People I'd Like to Punch in the Face Episode 4: People Who Care About What Others Can See on Facebook

I will openly admit/confess that this one might be a little ranty, but I can't help it. People who care so much about what other people see on Facebook, Twitter, etc. really get on my last nerve. Note: I am not referring to safety or career concerns. Though I still say, if you don't want people to see it, don't post it. Enough with my babbling. Check out the video. (also, sorry about my scary face. Why does You Tube always pick the worst clips?!)


25 Random Facts Then And Now

7623744452_7222654f38_z A couple of weeks ago Mr. T was Facebook stalking me. It's technically still Facebook stalking even if it's your fiance. Right? He does stuff like that from time to time and I find it kind of adorable. Sometimes he will read all my tweets from the past month or he'll go back and read tweets from when we were dating. And occasionally he'll do the same thing with Instagram. .

Anyway. He was Facebook stalking me and he stumbled upon one of those note things that used to be so big. You know, someone would tag you or whatever and you had to fill out a list of questions and what have you as a note on your profile. One of them was a list of 25 random things about myself from 2009.

As we were chatting about it, I realized how much some of the things on that list had changed, so in honor of my "new" blog I thought it would be fun to stroll down memory lane and kind of compare to where I am now. A little update if you will.

So here we go.

25 Random Things

1. I am not naturally a brunette, I am actually a blonde and I hate it. When I was in high school, I was border line bleach blonde. Only those of you that have known me a very long time have actually seen me with blonde hair.  Obviously still true. Though now I am technically a red head and then I was a really dark (almost black) brunette.

2. If I could be anything in the world I would be a counselor for young girls or an interior designer.  I wouldn't hate if either of these were my career, but it's definitely not something I'm dying for. I've actually learned that interior design is more of a hobby for me.

3. I love to write and want to write a book, I am just not sure what about. Definitely still true. Though now I really have no idea what it should be about.

4. I am a complete and total perfectionist to the point where I am pretty anal about things. My world does not function if everything isn’t perfectly in its place. Examples - I fold all of my towels the same way and they are all on the shelf the same way, color coordinated. Also, all of my clothes in my closet are organized, my shirts go by sleeve size and are ordered by the color of the rainbow.  Yep, all still true.

5. I would love to live in New York City. I am living in New Your City. Check.

6. I very rarely every date guys that grew up in the Midwest. Technically still true, though my better half is from Ohio. He's the one and only in the past few years. And I consider Ohio more of the step child of the Midwest/East Coast.

7. I hate it when people don’t use proper English (not SUPER proper, but I can’t stand the “word” ain’t or using the wrong type of “to” or “your”) I actually have been known to sing along with rap in proper grammar. Yes I am a loser! Still true. Though I don't really listen to rap all that much anymore.

8. I have an obsession with Sex and the City and Friends. I can quote almost any episode and know almost every episode of Sex and the City by heart. I will always love these shows, but the obsession has definitely subsided.

9. I love to paint and I can't really draw. I still love to paint, but not the same way I used to. I'm more of a crafty gal now. Though I'd still go crazy over a canvas and paints if I had any.

10. I really don’t like talking about myself and I am horrible at asking questions. Still true. Luckily I don't have to do this on first dates anymore.

11. I have one brother and one sister - both older than me and both married. My brother has three kids and my sister had two. Mostly true. My brother is no longer married than me.

12. My sister named my niece after me - Hayley Jessica - and I was in the room when she was born. She looks like me and acts like me, which my sister hates. Still true. We call her baby Jess and she's going to be a bridesmaid in my wedding.

13. I have never shot a gun. Not true anymore! I actually shot a gun last summer with Mr. T. I hated it. I hope I never have to do that anymore.

14. I can fight really well with words, but I can’t physically fight. Even though I am tough I hate to be hit and I can’t hit anyone. I'd say still true. Though I think if push came to shove, I could handle my own.

15. I have five tattoos - a butterfly, sun and frog on my back, a daisy on my right shoulder and a daisy on my foot. My sister and I have matching tattoos and she picked out my first one. I still have those 5 and I have gained 5 more -- the coordinates to Brooklyn on my forearm;  the word for love in French, Gaelic, and German on my right shoulder; the month and year that I started my blog on the inside of my right middle finger; a typewriter behind my left ear; and 3 purple stars on my right wrist.

16. I used to have my tongue pierced. I currently have my tragus (part of the ear) and my nose pierced. Still true.

17. I am obsessed with horror movies, especially Alfred Hitchcock. Absolutely still true.

18. I have incredibly fair skin and burn easily. I burn and peel and burn and peel. It very rarely ever turns to tan. YES! I actually sat outside for 30 minutes for lunch the other day and managed to get a sunburn. How does that happen?

19. I have pretty good instincts and I am a good judge of character. I'd say still true.

20. I only own one pair of brown shoes, unless you count my furry boots that I wear in the winter. Ok, this kind of made me laugh. Still true. Though I don't have the fuzzy boots anymore.

21. I really don’t like to cook, though I can do it fairly well. And I definitely hate baking. Still hate baking, but I actually like to cook now.

22. I believe you have to wait until after Thanksgiving to listen to Christmas music or put up decorations. Technically I still believe this, though Mr. T and I totally broke that rule last year.

23. I don’t really like dressing up for Halloween. Still don't though I have (and still will) for Mr. T.

24. I have been super independent my entire life. I cant be forced into doing anything and don’t like to do something just because everyone else is. But when I do something, I put everything I have into it and do it very well. Most definitely still true. Though I'm learning to be a little more dependent on Mr. T.

I have no idea where number 25 went.