Having the same (or similar) wedding as someone else is kind of like wearing the same prom dress as your bestie who is a whole lot skinner than you. While you might feel like you look pretty amazing in it, the confidence is killed because you're secretly wondering who is comparing the two of you. You just know someone is judging you because she wore it better.
Yep. Weddings are similar. You're wondering if someone is judging you because the last wedding they went to was in a barn and they had better lighting. Or they had pulled pork and mac and cheese, but it was more barbequey and cheesier.
And if you're not worried specifically about that, you're just simply trying to make sure your wedding is yours and no one else's. You want it to stand out. Be unique. And different.
You're not alone. I, too, have dealt with that quite a bit during my planning. And it doesn't come from a place where I want to outdo anyone. I never thought I would be the gal who would worry about that kind of stuff. Having the "best" wedding has never been something I obsessed over. If you remember, I wasn't even sure if I wanted a full blown wedding. But it's not even about that. It's just when you're trying to plan this wonderful amazing day, there's a lot to think about and you start to obsess over things.
When I first started looking for dresses, I wanted a colored dress because I thought it was different. One quick Google search and I realized that's what every different bride wants to do. It's often the wow factor in a wedding.
I want everything to have DIY touches because I'm crafty and it fits our style. Well, one other Google search and you'll see there is a whole bunch of things that you can do yourself. Everyone is doing things themselves. There's even stuff you can buy that look like you did it yourself.
It's insane. It's really hard to be original because someone somewhere has already done it. Even if you find a unique wedding idea, the fact that you're finding it means someone has done it (or is doing it). And I can't help the fact that I love things that people have already done. It's actually kind of silly to force myself to do more work and maybe not be as happy with things just to be original.
So, what's a gal to do?
Well, stop focusing on being original. Stop thinking about being the best or having this really clever idea that no one has done. Instead, focus on what you want. I mean, what you really want.
Too much focus goes into being original when there's already so much stress in planning a wedding. The budget. All the little details. There are things I never even thought of. Trust me when I say you don't need to recreate every single wheel.
I'm going to use mason jars. And I will play Vitamin String Quartet. I'm going to hang little lights that kind of look like paper lanterns. I'm wearing a white dress. There will be a barn and corn and anything else that I can find to give it a rustic/vintage feel. Though I do refuse to have a photo booth, anything with a suitcase, and will not do the chicken dance. I need to draw the line somewhere, right?
I don't care that our wedding might look like every other rustic barn wedding. I don't care that people might talk about how I did the same thing their cousin did.
I'm happy with the things we're planning (so is Mr. T). I'm happy with all the little details and personal touches that we're adding. I think people are going to have a blast and enjoy some tasty drinks and food. And, more than anything, we get to celebrate a very important moment with all of the people that we know and love.
And, at the end of the day, that's what's important. Love. Marry the person you love. Plan the wedding you love. Celebrate with the people you love.