When I was a dating blogger I read a lot of dating books. I mean A LOT. Mr. T and I often joke because amongst his sea of smart kid academic books we have a whole Barnes & Noble like section devoted to just dating. I thought about getting rid of some of them when we moved but just couldn't bring myself to do it. Anyway. Lots of dating books. And I hate/hated most of them because they gave the worst advice and I hate the idea of anyone following it. But, every once in a while, one comes along that I can actually get behind which happened recently when I read Single is the New Black by Dr. Karin Anderson Abrell (Yes, I can still read dating books even though I'm married).
Single is the New Black blasts all conventional ideas as to why you're still single. Instead of telling you exactly how to date (or how not to date), it encourages you to be yourself and keep on keeping on because if you're still single, it just hasn't happened for you (At least not yet. But it totally will). It's words of encouragement are like talking amongst your friends. And it's all of the things we really need to hear when we're trying to navigate the single and dating world.
When I was single I struggled sometimes with just being myself. I'm a very loud and opinionated chick. Sometimes I wondered if that was keeping me single. And I may have been told that a few times by people I know. I hated that most dating books backed up that idea. I never understood what I was supposed to do. Should I act like someone else and be a little quieter? But then what happens when I get comfortable and really start to be me? Or do I just pretend that I'm someone I'm not until death do us part? That never really seemed right to me. And if it wasn't that, then I was coming up with tons of other excuses. You know, like maybe I was being picky (I wasn't) or maybe I wasn't trying hard enough (why do you need to try anyway?). I told myself a lot of things and had a lot of things said to me as I was trying to dissect my dating life. But the honest truth was that I just hadn't happened for me. I felt that way, I just didn't know if it was true or why anyone else couldn't see that.
Well this book does. That's the exact message. And I couldn't have said any of it better myself.
The book is a really easy and fun read. It's not preachy or some tell all tale about how the author did everything right and figured it all out and landed a man (I hate those types of things). There's stories from real women and real men and even the author herself. So if you're feeling a little stuck in the dating world (or you know someone is or you just want a really great read), you should definitely check this book out. It's a perfect summer read for the pool. And I would know since I totally read it in like two days while floating in the pool.
Single is the New Black is set to release on July 27.
To find out more about Dr. Karin Anderson Abrell, click here to visit her website.
You can also check out her two TV interviews on Tuesday (7/28) on "You and Me This Morning" and "Good Day Chicago" (Fox)