The other day a friend shared this quote with me:
Perfectionism is the death of all good things. - Elizabeth Gilbert
And holy, wow, you guys. That so hit home with me. Especially with what I was feeling that week. I had my melt down about working out and then I was frustrated for an hour because I didn't know how to organize my Pinterest board.
And the truth is, I wish I could tell you that those were one off things. But they're not. This is how I am almost daily.
I stress about every little thing. And it's not just when I'm entertaining or working on a shop item. It's every single damn thing about my life. Every little detail.
I've spent hours rearranging my kitchen just to make everything perfect in a place. Thrown out barely used notebooks merely because I made a mistake or I just wanted to start fresh. I've reorganized cabinets just because they don't look pretty.
And while sometimes these things are great -- my need for detail is awesome in some places. It's also the worst thing.
Sometimes I find the need for perfection utterly paralyzing. I have literally made jobs much bigger because I need perfection. And sometimes I can't even finish the job because I just sit and cry because it's not perfect.
And I know I totally sound like a crazy person. Hell, if you were telling me a story about someone who acted like this I'd think they were crazy.
Here's the weird thing about all of it though - I never realize what's going on. Sometimes I'm just content getting every little detail right and sometimes I sit in frustration and don't really know why I'm so frustrated.
The need for perfection just takes over and I don't even realize that it's happening. I think I'm frustrated for about a dozen other reasons, but I never stop and think -- holy shit it's actually perfectionism that's ruling me right now.
And most people don't get it. People tell me all the time not to worry about being perfect. And they're right. Completely and utterly 100% correct. I shouldn't worry about it so much.
But how in the world do you stop doing something that you don't even realize you're doing?
I don't know if I have any answers here. I don't think I have any words of wisdom. And maybe there is no magical formula here to stop doing it.
All I can do is take a deep breath. Try to remind myself that I got this. And move forward.
I also think I should talk to people more about it. And listen when they tell me to calm the f down about it.
Perfection is evil. It's the enemy. It's a quest that can never be fulfilled. And I need to find my own version of perfection.