I have no idea what's happening, but I've been having some crazy dreams. Ever Mr. T and I got engaged I've had this same dream over and over again. It's almost freaking me out. I don’t know a lot about dreams and what they mean (I once wrote a paper in college about it, but that was far too long ago). I don't think it's necessarily the content of the dream, but the fact that I keep having it.
Anyway. Let me give you the gist.
I often have dreams that we break up. He always ends things with me. Sometimes he actually breaks up with me in the dream. Other times I am just suddenly single and I am sad because he's ended things with me. Then I always seem to have a break down because I have to start online dating again. And that seems to be what the issue is actually centered on -- the fact that I have to start dating online again.
Part of me wants to laugh because I feel like the dream is all about online dating. If you've followed me since All the Single Ladies, you know that I dated online for about a decade before meeting Mr. T. And you also know that I met my share of, uh, interesting fellows. So I guess it seems logical that somewhere deep inside of me I have some anxiety about having to do that again.
The other part of me wants to hit my dream self. I mean, from what I can recall I seem genuinely broken up by losing Mr. T. But it's kind of annoying that it shifts to being distraught over making a profile and diving back into the online dating world.
It's a little strange.
I did some Googling and really the only thing I can find are things about your boyfriend breaking up with you. So I guess that counts. A few sites say that it means I am insecure, but that seems to be amateurs just taking a stab in the dark. If I remember correctly, dreams don't usually have the literal meaning. You know, like when you dream your teeth fall out. You aren't literally afraid that your teeth will fall out.
Another site said it shows that our relationship is moving to the next level. It's an end to something and I am starting something new or better. I like that a lot better. And it kind of makes sense -- the dreams started when we got engaged and then started again now that we've moved in together. Then again, that site seems to be a group of astrologists who want to charge me 99 cents to help me even more.
I guess I can just chalk it up to the craziness that happens when your life changes so much. Maybe there is a fear of some sort. Not that I am afraid of losing him, but we've made a lot of big changes. I never imagined we'd be where we are this time last year. I love every minute of it and can't wait to marry him, but change is scary. Or maybe it's just one of those dreams you have that doesn't mean anything. Who knows.
Does anyone else have any crazy dreams happening over and over that they can't explain?