It's weird because I honestly didn't even notice it. After Mr. T and I officially tied the knot, I just went into nesting mode and suddenly I was all about making a happy home. I guess that's what you do when you're married, right?
And it just seemed normal to me. I mean, I never even thought about it.
It wasn't until I quit my job and realized that some of the things on my list and some of the reasons that things were so chaotic was that fact that I was nesting and being domestic and it was a struggle to fit it all in. And it wasn't freaking me out. I mean, until I actually realized what was happening and then thought maybe I should be freaking out.
I think that's the weird part. Maybe we don't actually freak out about things until we notice them. It's like when I was a preschool teacher and we used to keep a child busy so the parents could quietly drift out of the room. The kid was totally cool until an hour or so later when he or she looked around and didn't know where mommy or daddy was. That's when the melt down started.
So I noticed. I'm domestic. I am meal planning and clipping coupons and making sure that Mr. T and I eat our veggies and fruits. The other day I spent 20 minutes sewing buttons on his shorts while I was doing laundry. Freaking sewing you guys. And I feel like I should be melting down or something. Shouldn't this be weirder or scarier or somethinger?
But that's the weird thing. I'm not freaking out. In fact, the only thing I have freaked out is when I haven't had time to do the domestic things that I want to do. Seriously, I'm a weirdo now.
I'm making whole chickens and enjoying our move back to the Midwest. One of my fave things is sitting on the couch in my PJs watching dumb shows with Mr. T. I don't know the last time I closed a bar down.
Part of me feels guilty. Did I sell my soul to the marriage devil? But honestly, I'm happy. I don't even feel like I've changed. I'm enjoying this life that we're making together. Don't get me wrong, it's a struggle sometimes, but it's not freaking me out in the way I thought it would. But I'm enjoying it. And, honestly, Mr. T and I still can do all of the things we did when we weren't married (except the whole dating other people thing, that's frowned upon in these parts). We just choose not to. It has nothing to do with what we think we should be or whatever. It's just what we choose to be. Though we're working on going out a little more, but that's a whole other post.
So, my name is Jess Downey and I'm domestic and my fridge is full of kale and yogurt. And I'm totally OK with that.