Healthy Life Journal: Week 5

I'm totally late with this post. I know, I know.

Though sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one who really notices if I'm late. Probably so.

It's been a whirlwind of a few days (does that sentence even make sense?) and I'm just now getting my head above water.

But I'm officially down 20 pounds. And I'm feeling pretty good about that.

Mr. T and I took updated pictures last night. We didn't take measurements yet. To be honest, I was a little disappointed in the pictures. They just don't reflect how I feel about myself. I feel so good. And the pictures just didn't make me feel like I look as good as I feel.

Part of it was because we did it in a hurry. And also because I was wearing a black tank top which I didn't the first time. So I think some of the loss is hidden. I also should compare them side by side.

But most of it is because I'm just not where I want to be and seeing those pictures made me realize that.

I may retake them tonight or I may just tell my inner self to shut the f up. Because good lord she's a negative bitch sometimes. I think it just made me realize what a long road I have ahead of me. And that's a really scary feeling. Because when you feel like you've come a fairly long way, but you still have a long way to go it feels like an uphill battle.

I keep reminding myself to think about what I have done. Because this is more than I've done in a long time. And I'm actually doing this. I'm not getting my cardio walking up the hill to get a bagel or walking to the subway to drink beer with friends. I'm consciously working out and eating right. And it is paying off. Little by little. It's paying off.

I mean, can we all focus on the fact that I fit into a pair of jeans that I couldn't even button a month ago? And I mean, I really fit into them, you guys. No laying on the bed and zipping them up with a coat hanger type stuff. They just fit.

And, I (maybe foolishly) bought a pair of pants in the size that I wore when Mr. T and I started dating. That's my short term goal. When I bought them, I couldn't even pull them up. So, the other day, just for fun, I tried to put them on. And, I was able to pull them up. I can't button them. But I can get them on and I'm only a few inches from being able to button them.

That's progress my friends. Please remind me of that, Ok?

To be honest, I knew this would be the hardest part - managing my expectations with reality. That's one of the reasons I stopped weighing myself to begin with. It's hard to see the reality of things when you feel so differently in your head.

But like I said last time, this is a marathon, not a sprint. This isn't just about losing pounds. It's about so much more.

Also, can we just talk about how I hit my first reward goal? I did all of my workouts last week andhit my step goal every day. There were several days where I doubled my step goal. So hooray for that.

I only "wimped" out once and Mr. T and I had a little talk about it. We decided that sometimes it's OK to give ourselves a little slack. So, if one day during the challenge we just can't deal, we can cheat a little and not hit our steps. But the very next day we have to hit our step goal plus whatever we missed the day before. And we can only do it one day. I figured it was an OK compromise and it's probably a good idea in case one of us gets sick or something.

So today is a new day and a new week (sort of. I mean, at least as far as this journal is concerned). I'm going to put one foot in front of the other. Remind myself that I can do this. That I'm doing this. And rock the hell out of this health stuff.

Also, our new couch comes today so pretty sure I'll get all of the steps in from moving it to every single area of the room.