Because I can still read dating books even though I'm married.
If you don't know the scoop, OkCupid recently revealed that they experiment on humans. And not in some weird scientific kind of way, but just through the website. You know, to see how people think and date and stuff.
And now a lot of people are outraged and have their undies in a bundle. But, my question is, what's the harm? I mean, really. What is the harm? How is this different from any other site that does it?
Ok. I can kind of understand it. I mean, taking your information and manipulating it in ways that you don't know about is kind of wrong. And lying to you about matches or hiding things is probably kind of wrong too.
But I honestly don't see what the big deal is.
I guess if you take their matching percentages for their worth it might be a little misleading. But, honestly, I was never compatible in person with any of the people I had high percentages with. In fact, Mr. T and I weren't that high. I was actually lower on the scale than any other girl he met off the site.
We really like those people just because we're told we're supposed to (as OkCupid pointed out as one of their reasons for experimenting in the first place). Sometimes stepping out of your comfort zone isn't a bad thing. And, to me, this experimentation just helped people out a little with that.
Also, did I miss where they only allowed you to date the people they lied about? I mean, you're able to search on OkCupid in many ways, right? That's actually how Mr. T found me -- he searched beer. You really shouldn't be basing all of your online dating decisions solely on the percentages anyway.
You also make a choice in who you meet. So if you exchange a few messages with someone and they don't suit your fancy, you don't have to meet them.
So, maybe it's a little sneaky. Maybe a little conniving. Maybe a little wrong. But I don't think it's earth shattering. I don't think it's a reason to not trust the site or to not join it.
Dinner dates. I've been on my fair share of them and sometimes they're downright scary. What should you do. What shouldn't you do. Blah. And, I've had this sitting in my inbox for, well, forever. So I thought it would be good to actually share it. I found it interesting and pretty funny.
How to keep yourself from turning into a bitter single gal.
If you know anything about me at all, you probably know that one of the things I look forward to is the fall. And it's not just because of the perfect weather, but also because of all the scary movies around Halloween time. Sure, I know I can watch scary movies anytime I want. But there's just something about them in the fall. Halloween is in the air. There's dark, rainy nights with eerie wind. It's just perfect.
It’s no big secret that I’m a plus-size gal. But I would be lying if I said it’s never made me self-conscious; especially when I was active on online dating sites. I was always worried about being judged harshly by guys. If I went a few days without a message or if a guy didn’t respond to one I’d sent I always worried if that was the reason why.
I'm going to admit that I've never been in a relationship with anyone who is still active on an online dating site. But I would imagine it's a pretty awful thing to find out. Even if they aren't technically cheating, I'd classify it as the same category.
Huge confession over here – I think coffee dates are pretty lame for a first date. When I was a dater I tried to avoid them at all costs. I honestly tried to like them – especially since New York and Chicago are full of cute little coffee shops – but they just never seemed to feel right for me personally.
I was having a conversation with a friend the other day. She’s dating a new guy and is still in the unsure stage. And it really made me (actually both of us) think about how we’re always afraid of other people’s feelings, but not really afraid of our own. Think about it.
Apparently I have weddings on my brain this week. Though I think it's excusable given the fact that I am newly engaged. And Mr. T and I are actually going to start the beginning stages of planning next week when we go look at sites.
The debate on who should pay for the first date is always a good one. Some say the guy should always pay. Some say the check should be split. Some say whoever asks should pay. And I think sometimes the rules about this thing can kind of get in the way of actually having fun on the date.
Dating can make you a little irrational; especially if you’ve had some really bad experiences. And that can make you do some crazy thing sometimes. Here are some dating behaviors that will make you look like a total psycho. Try to avoid them at all costs.