I like some stuff that Your Tango puts out, but, honestly, this article about not settling made me cringe.
First and foremost, I get tired of people talking about settling. I'll go into that in greater detail, but seriously, it's old. The cold hard truth is life (and love) is not a rom com. It's real. You're going to hate stuff about your partner.
Mr. T forgets everything. I mean, I can give him a list of things to get at the store and he will come back with one thing. Sometimes he doesn't even remember that we had a conversation about what to get at the store. He'll stare at me blankly like I am speaking in a foreign language or something.
It's annoying. Sometimes I hate it. But, loving him means loving all of him. We're not meant to be perfect so if you're looking for a partner who never annoys you or who is perfect then you should just stay single.
And, let's all be honest here, it could be so much worse than him forgetting things. I mean, in the grand scheme of things, that's not really a problem or an issue. It's just something that I find frustrating. So it's really not settling when you're just dealing with things about your significant other that frustrate you.
Aside from that. This list is just ridiculous. Let's break it down.
- I can tell you that I've never been ashamed of Mr. T, but I can't say that I've ever found myself getting excited just thinking about the great impression he'll make. I was excited for him to meet my friends and my family, but that's because he was an important person in my life and I wanted to see how it all meshed together (read that as: I wanted everyone to love him too). We've had work functions, dinner with my boss and other contacts, etc. and I have never once been worried about him. I think it's bad if you're embarrassed of your partner, but that doesn't mean you have to show him/her off. What are they, a pet or a new shiny piece of jewelry? Also, am I the only one who associates "show off" with money and status?
- I love seeing Mr. T and I love seeing him often, but that's not the same thing as needing it. Living with him is amazing. I love that we can have couch time whenever we want and that we can eat dinner and talk about our days. I also think about him when he's not around. But let me just tell you, a few weeks ago when he went to a conference, I was excited to have the place to myself for a few days. Around the third day or so it stopped being fun and I wanted him to come home, but still, those first few days were heaven. And I'm not ashamed to admit that. It doesn't mean that I don't love him or that I'm settling.
- I'm not sure if I would say I get butterflies when I haven't seen him for a while. I get excited and act like a five-year-old at Christmas. But butterflies? Not so much. I also would check his flight, but that's more because I'm a worrier and I want to make sure all is going well. Again, none of this means that I've settled.
- I don't even want to touch this one. It's just ridiculous. I don't get some sort of pleasure in thinking that other chicks are checking out my man. Frankly, I don't care. I consider myself lucky to have found Mr. T. Absolutely. But not because other people are jealous of what I have. I feel lucky to have found an amazing person who is kind, sweet, and generous. I feel lucky to have found love. And I feel lucky that he feels the same.
- Ok, I can get behind wanting to spend time with your partner. You should. It should be fun. If you don't, there might be an issue.
- I also mostly get behind the making love part. If you don't want to touch your partner, there's an issue. Or you're not attracted to them. Something. But I also don't think you need to bang like rabbits to know you haven't settled.
At the end of the day, I think people know if they feel like they're settling or not. I don't think the issue is knowing, I think it's the fact that people don't want to be honest about it. They make excuses for it or think it will get better with time.
And, if you need to consult a list to reassure yourself that you're not settling, you probably are.