An Open Letter to the Makers of Special K Commercials

763702_73471399 Dear Makers of the Special K Commercials,

I have a bone to pick with you. It’s also the same bone I have with those Yoplait commercials. Though I don’t think you are the same people.  So I’m sorry if it looks like I’m blaming you for both. Actually, maybe you could just pass this along to them?

Anyway. I get you’re trying to sell a product and with that comes the need to get people all excited about it. After all, that is the point of advertising, but I truly think you’re slightly out of touch with reality here.

Now, I’m not even going to go into the fact that your commercials just buy into that whole idea that women should watch what they eat so they don’t get fat. That’s a whole other issue. And to go into that I would also have to talk about the men’s commercials that are unfair and, well, that’s a whole lot of blaming you for things you didn’t do.

The real issue here is the way you compare Special K with cupcakes, donuts, and what have you.

I seriously have to ask --who in their right mind eats a cupcake because they are hungry? Seriously. Do you? Because I don’t. Do you want to know how many times I have stuffed myself full of a fabulous meal only to turn around and stuff a cupcake in my mouth? I’m not hungry at all. I just want a damn cupcake.

And I know I am not alone. It’s happened when I’m at dinner with friends or my fiancé. I’ve never thought it was a big deal. Maybe you haven’t heard of it, but it’s called desert and it’s made for our enjoyment. It’s also OK in moderation.

Also, do you know any people who have a craving for a donut and then eat some Special K or that damn carton of yogurt and are good to go? (I’m still not blaming you for the yogurt, I promise) But I don’t know anyone like that. Do you really think that stuff tastes like a donut or cake? Do you?

Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoy a big bowl of Special K every now and then. But do you know why I eat it? Because I want a damn bowl of Special K. If I want cake, I eat cake. It’s really that simple.

I have to be honest here. I’ve tried that whole eat-something-healthier-for-you-when-you-have-a-craving thing. All that stuff just makes me want to binge eat an entire cake once I finally get it. And clearly that’s not a wise choice.

Then, since I’ve already consumed 200 calories eating the freaking Special K to kill the craving, I feel pretty awful when I still eat the cake because I’ve actually consumed more calories and I could’ve just eaten the stupid cake in the first place.

And finally, your commercials just make me want a big box of donuts. Really. I don’t know how many times that I haven’t even been thinking about a donut. Then I see that commercial with the little girl at the door with the big box of donuts and I think “I want a big box of donuts too!”. So all you’re really doing is making us want to go out and buy a big box of donuts. I’m pretty sure that’s not quite the message you’re going for.

So, really, can we stop the madness already? It’s not helping anyone.


Jess Downey