You guys! I've been so busy with so many things that I totally forgot that this is my one year anniversary of being self-employed. Yep, one year ago I quit my job. I mean, technically I told them two weeks before, but one year ago was my last day so that definitely counts. I'm not sure what one does in honor of this type of anniversary. Do I celebrate? Will there be cake? Oh please let there be cake. But I don't want to bake it.
Anyway. I have really mixed feelings about it.
On the one hand I'm incredibly proud of myself. Quitting your job is a big deal. It's not an easy thing by any means. So kudos to me for being so brave. And I kind of love it. I mean, I'm sitting here, writing this post on my phone from my pretty backyard. Coffee in hand. And a little wiener doggie running around barking at all of the birds. Sometimes I seriously wonder if this is life (side note: I do not do stuff like this often. I should probably take more advantage of that).
But on the other hand, it's still kind of scary. I feel defeated most days. I still wonder what the he'll I'm doing half of the time. I wonder what I'm supposed to be doing or if I'm doing this all wrong. I wonder if I have a handle on all of this, if I have a handle on life. I wonder if I'm doing enough or if I'm too lazy. I wonder if I'm draining us financially. I wonder what other people think about me. I wonder if I can keep on doing this. I wonder if I should keep on doing this.
It's hard you guys. And it's so hard to focus on the positive things because the negative just seems to creep in all of the damn time.
But, regardless of how scary this all is, I really do feel that this is the right decision for me and my lil' family. And I know (or at least I hope) that I will figure it all out and get into the groove of things. Because, honestly, this life is good. I mean, really good, you guys. (Please remind me of that occasionally, Ok?)
So, in the spirit of Chaotic & Collected and all this self-growth stuff, I want to talk about a few things I've learned in the past year of being self-employed.
It's different from working a full time job. Oh so very, very different.
It's not all fun and games. But there should be fun and games.
Some days it takes a whole lot of strength to not take 17 naps.
Breaks for puppy cuddles and court shows are definitely encouraged.
I still need to learn to breathe and relax. Give myself a damn break sometimes. Both literally and figuratively.
I have the time to design the life that I/we want. And that's pretty awesome.
Your house, biz, and life can never, ever be too organized.
I need to be better at doing my job and letting Mr. T do his.
Focus on the positive more. I am totally brave for doing this and all of the scary stuff shouldn't overshadow that.
I'm so much healthier. Food wise, that is. The mental health is a work in progress still.