Jared is Wrong, It's OK to Pick Out Your Engagement Ring

The ringChristmas time is upon us friends. And that means it's time for all the jewelry commercials in the world to roll out. I feel like I’ve already seen 994 of them and I've noticed that a lot of them center on love and engagements. Al of these elaborate proposals and schemes to pick out the ring. But that whole thing went way different for Mr. T and me. (He didn't go to Jared and when I ask him that he just laughs at me) After we decided to get married, he really wanted to have a real proposal and make it a surprise. That meant it was time for the ring. I guess we both just kind of figured he should pick it out. I honestly thought he wanted to and I didn't want to take that moment away from him. But I really had no idea what I wanted. I only knew I didn’t want a diamond. So we thought it was a good idea for me to pick out a few styles of rings to give him an idea of what I liked. But that just made things more confusing. Then we decided maybe we should pick a few out together and he could buy one, but I wouldn't know which one until he proposed. But that became complicated too. In the end, we picked out one together and he bought it with me there. And looking back on it, i wouldn't have had it any other way. Here are five reasons it's OK to pick out your engagement ring (or do it together).

1. So much other pressure for the dude

Seriously. Can we give the gentlemen a break when it comes to this stuff? Not only do they have to think of some extravagant, romantic, sweet, adorable, proposal, but they also have to find the perfect ring. Yes, getting engaged is a huge deal so there should be some effort put into it. But it's also an incredibly nerve wracking experience. Even though Mr. T and I had already decided to get married, he was still nervous about the proposal. So, maybe helping pick out the ring can help to take a little of the pressure out.

2. It's still romantic and magical

I know I'm not the gal who dreamed about her proposal her entire life, but I do still enjoy romance and love. And, honestly, I don't think picking out the ring took away from any of that. There are so many other cute moments you can have with your proposal. Some that even come from picking out the ring together. My ring actually came one day while I was at Mr. T's so then it was kind of a game as to when I was going to get it. He immediately went into planning mode. Involved his friends and people we know. The proposal was magical and a total surprise. And it was adorable that he couldn't wait to give it to me. Trust me, there's so much that's magical about a proposal. Picking out the ring is just one thing.

3. It doesn’t really matter. I mean, not really.

What I mean is, there are so many other things that matter more than if you picked the ring out together or not. You have your whole life together and will have many other firsts together.

4. It doesn't say anything about your relationship if you want to pick it out or if your man needs a little assistance.

I think sometimes we get so wrapped up in the idea that if a guy can't pick out our engagement ring then he must not be right for us. Wrong! Seriously, you could not be more wrong. There are 994,000 rings to choose from. Cuts, colors, clarity. I don't even know anything about all of this stuff. You go to one store and they have this and another store has that. You could spend 994,000 days just shopping for it. So to say that a man isn't really for you because he can't pick THE one out of those 994,000 is a little silly.

5. This is real life, not a fairytale.

If my life were like the movies, there are many things that would be different. Like, how do people afford those flats in DUMBO while working as a waiter? And how do you get all the way to the lower east side from Brooklyn in 10 minutes in a cab. How did you even find a cab to take you from Brooklyn to Manhattan? Love is beautiful and magical and wonderful, but it's not a fairytale.

At the end of the day, the proposal is important, it really is. And I am not trying to take away from that. But I think sometimes we get a little too caught up in the commercialism of it all and forget about the reasons why it's important. Honestly, I found that when we were trying to do everything according to some list of appropriate etiquette that it wasn't really any fun. It was all stressful and crazy. When we just gave in and did things our way it took some of the pressure off.