Filling Out a Bracket When You Know Nothing About March Madness

If you're looking for some die hard insider basketball knowledge you should probably stop reading. This isn't one of those posts. I can remember my first march Madness with Mr. T. It was like Christmas morning and the birth of his first child and graduating with his PhD and getting a tenure-track position all rolled into one. I actually don't even know if that accurately describes the level of excitement from this man. For me, it was just some sports tournament. I mean, this isn't football here guys.

But we were dating, had just said I love you, and I wanted to be a part of the fun and was excited he wanted to include me (I still feel that way). He sent me a link to join his bracket. His friends were on that bracket. Crap. I had no idea what to do or who to pick. Montana probably has a good basketball team. Right? Yeah. If i remember correctly my bracket blew up in the first round. And people laughed at me. A lot. In a nice way (at least that's what I tell myself).

And even now, going into my third March Madness with him, I’m still not any better at it and have no idea what to do. I mean, I know there are reasons why you should pick a team over another. There are stats and crap. Something about a seed. Mr. T tells me every year. But it's way more fun to do my method. And now it’s kind of become a game. Who is jess's Montana this year? Last year it was Dayton and they didn't do that bad thank you very much. Isn't there always a Cinderella or something like that? I'm just trying to have faith in the little guys.

So here's the real knowledge you need when filling out a bracket when you know nothing about March Madness. Or at least the knowledge that I use.

Bracketology

Round two (because apparently round one is a totally different thing).

Midwest

My Picks:

Manhattan over Kentucky

Cincinnati over Purdue

West Virginia over Buffalo

Valparaiso over Maryland

Texas over Butler

Northeastern over Notre Dame

Indiana over Wichita State

Kansas over N. Mexico State

My thoughts:

I hate Kentucky. I will never pick them over anyone. Mr. T said a 16 has never beaten a 1 and Kentucky is undefeated. I say, have you ever heard of a little thing called a Cinderella story? Also, can we all just say Purdon't?? I'm from Indiana so I will show support for my state and pick Valpo. Plus, have you met Maryland's football team? Jerks. My support for my team stops at Butler and Notre Dame. They are both the worst. Indiana is technically my alma mater (I just went to a different campus). And let's throw Kansas in there because I have to stop picking so many upsets.

West

My picks:

Wisconsin over Coastal Carolina

Oklahoma State over Oregon

Arkansas over Wofford

N. Carolina over Harvard

Xavier over BYU/Miss

Baylor over Georgia St.

Ohio State over VCU

Arizona over Texas Southern

My thoughts:

There's not a lot here really. Clearly I'm a Big 10 gal so on Wisconsin! Also, Coastal Carolina is the Chanticleers. WTF is that? I can't think positive about anything Oregon because I'm still bitter over that loss to them at the beginning of football season. I don't love Ohio State, but they're Mr. T's football team and VCU beat Mr. T's basketball team yesterday so I'd like to see them taken down. And Wofford had their selection "party" in a church (apparently) and I think that's weird.

East

My picks:

Villanova over Lafayette

N.C. State over LSU

Northern Iowa over Wyoming

Louisville over UC Irvine

Dayton over Providence

Oklahoma over Albany

Michigan State over Georgia

Virginia over Belmont

My thoughts:

Mr. T's team is Dayton so clearly they will win (that's how these things work). Michigan State is my team so they're going all the way baby (also how this works). And really that's all I care about in this region.

South

My picks:

NFL/RMU over Duke

St. John's over S. Diego St.

S.F. Austin over Utah

Georgetown over Eastern Wash.

SMU over UCLA

Iowa State over UAB

Iowa over Davidson

Gonzaga over N. Dakota St.

My thoughts:

I can't pick Duke over anyone. Ever. St. John's is a saint so clearly he's gonna win. Mr. T said to pick a 12 vs. 5 upset. S.F Austin reminds me of Stone Cold Steve Austin. Done and Done. And I hear Gonzaga has been good in past years so that means they'll be good this year too, right?

Round 3

Midwest

My picks:

Cincinnati over Manhattan

West Virginia over Valparaiso

Texas over Northeastern

Indiana over Kansas

My thoughts:

Indiana is the only team that's left in this region that I care about so they'll win. And West Virginia is the mountaineers and that's just really awesome. I am pretty sure a mountaineer can beat anything.

West

My picks:

Wisconsin over Oklahoma St.

N. Carolina over Arkansas

Baylor over Xavier

Arizona over Ohio State

My thoughts:

My original thoughts about Wisconsin still apply. Two is higher than ten, so sorry Ohio State, but your fun stops here. A bear (Baylor) would totally beat a musketeer (Xavier) and Mr. T says we don't like Xavier.

East

My picks:

Villanova over N.C. State

Louisville over Northern Iowa

Dayton over Oklahoma

Michigan State over Virginia

My thoughts:

Mr. T's team is the flyers and I love Michigan State so let's keep them moving. I don't care about anything else in this region. Can you believe that Mr. T picked Virginia?!  Moving along.

South

My picks:

St. John's over NFL/RMU

Georgetown over S. F Austin

Iowa State over SMU

Gonzaga over Iowa

My thoughts:

I don't think upsets will last that long, let's be logical here folks. So every team that's in the higher seed gets to move to the next round.

Sweet Sixteen

Midwest

My picks: 

West Virginia over Cincinnati

Indiana over Texas

My thoughts:

I still think a mountaineer would totally win. And go Hoosiers!

West

My picks:

Wisconsin over N. Carolina

Arizona over Baylor

My thoughts:

I'm looking for a huge upset for Wisconsin in the final since they beat MSU. Arizona is the wildcats and that was my high school mascot so go cats!

East

My picks:

Villanova over Louisville

Michigan State over Dayton

My thoughts:

MSU is winning is all so they can't get beat here (wait, I just ruined the ending). Louisville is the freaking cardinals and I hate birds.

South

My picks:

Georgetown over St. John's

Iowa State over Gonzaga

My thoughts: 

I like the look of Georgetown's mascot better. That graphic is pretty awesome. Just because you're a 2 seed doesn't mean you're going to win everything Gonzaga.

Elite Eight:

Midwest

My picks:

West Virginia over Indiana

My thoughts:

Does anyone really think a 10 will beat a 5? That's how this works, right? That's what Mr. T always tells me anyway.

West

My picks:

Wisconsin over Arizona

My thoughts:

I'm still searching for that upset. I never really liked you anyway Wisconsin

East

My picks:

Michigan State over Villanova

My thoughts:

Do I really have to keep explaining myself here? I still can't believe Mr. T picked Virginia. VIRGINIA! V-I-R-G-I-N-I-A!!!

South

My picks:

Georgetown over Iowa St.

My thoughts: 

Because this sounds good?

Final Four

My picks:

Wisconsin over West Virginia

Michigan State over Georgetown

My thoughts:

My plan worked!

Final

Michigan State over Wisconsin. Because I predicted that, like, 10 rounds ago.